Saturday, January 06, 2007

Alone

For some strange reason, I like being alone; left all to myself. No man's an island yada yada yada, but I don't mind being alone. Being alone gives you a kind of freedom, with no one judging your actions or thoughts.

I have often wondered why I enjoy solitude so much. I have come to the conclusion that it is because at almost each major change taking place in my life, I have been alone to fend for myself. This has probably made me capable of taking care of myself in new surroundings without much need for outside support.

In school, I didn't know anyone in my section. There wasn't even anyone from my bus/locality in my class. There were other friends in different classes but since they were older and had there own friends circle, I generally went around alone and friendless for some period of time. It took me a good 1-2 years to make friends, some of whom I am in touch with even today.

Another change was joining a coaching class. Many of my classmates had joined the same institute, but as luck would have it, my classes were held at a totally different time and place. And once again, I had to sweat it out alone. There weren't even any people living close to my home.

Which brings us to the biggest change, joining college and moving to a hostel and generally finding myself in a totally new environment. Here again, I didn't know anyone in my hostel or my department. Two of my friends were good friends in school and got adjacent rooms in the hostel! Talk about luck.

In my company too, I was the only one who joined from my college.

There is of course no particular reason for this rant. What pisses me off is that in each of these situations there are many people who have some connections with each other. Being from the same school, coaching class, college etc. They have some shared memories they can talk about and a comfort level with each other. I on the other hand have to start afresh all over again ... which irritates me. A benefit is that you are given a clean slate to start over and are not burdened by any past baggage.

The motivation for this post was that I was all alone at home for the past 24 hours and I found that it wasn't too bad. I didn't mind it (as has been stressed many times), but the sheer boredom of being alone made me go to visit friends. Boredom is a big enemy of a loner :(.

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3 Comments:

Blogger sunny said...

dood..24 hours of being alone in ur home made your write this post!!! Think about me, I dont know how long it has been, being in good company. But anyways(I can cry forever!) nice post!!! Keep writing!!

5:26 AM  
Blogger atish said...

dude.. who were the guys in hostel from ur school btw??
and ya solitude helps.. in fact everyday i need sometime completely for myself.. just to be me..

12:43 AM  
Blogger anonymous coward said...

@atish
the guys i were referring to were pushan and suhas. mere school ka to koi nahi tha. sorry for the confusion.

4:23 AM  

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